"And there he goeth up hence to Bethel
And he is going in the way
And the young little youths have come out from the city
And scoff at him and say unto him
'Go up bald head, go up thy bald head'
He looketh behind him and see-eth them
And declareth them vile in the name of Jehova
And two bears came out of the forest
And rendeth them in two..."
And here's chapter 1
And I read the instructions
Scribed upon the page one of the tome
My mind it be doth wander
"Write in only red ink and then. Blah blah blah"
I skip past the instructions
They're dead boring, I scan the preface
I leaf straight to the action
No distraction for me, just
The Book of Doom
Now here's chapter 2
I ignite sacred candles
I cut into my arm with the quill
Then I plot your demise
As I write down your names here 1, 2, 3
Now your fate is secured
I have made your outlook look quite grim
What's this? Something is weird
In retrospect (and thinking about it) perhaps I should have paid some more attention to
The Books of Doom
"This book is property of John Romero."
"Balls where is it?"
"I Don't know, you had it!"
"Is that it?"
"No."
Now where's chapter 3?
Holy crap I have I lost it
I am sure I put it over there
That bit's really important
OH EFF! Where has it gone, where's it gone, gone, gone
I give up I can't find it
The Librarian will not be pleased
Plus my curse is quite ruined
With frustration I then bin
The Book of Doom
"Just a reminder that your book is overdue."
"Shit!"