As I lie beside you trying not to make a noise My crackerjack heart's all wound up like a toy. It's these torrid thoughts, They keep stirring up my loins. Like a dirty little boy, I gotta see a priest. I godda go to confession. I'm gonna call the police- I'm gonna do a bad thing. Don't tell my mama, don't tell my papa, Baby, I've been dreamin' bad, bad dreams. I wanna pledge my "allegiancy", But I'm a ferocious human beast With carnal instincts. Still, I'm a standup guy to every Gal I meet-all those pretty girls in heat- I godda see a priest. I godda go to confession. I'm gonna call the police-I'm gonna do a bad thing. Don't tell my mama, don't tell my papa, Baby, I've been dreamin' bad, bad dreams. This sick, old man once shared his philosophy: Guys imagine having sex with Every girl they see. Ever since, I've tried to debunk this myth; It's the curse of Dionysus. These dreams I have, no girl is left unturned. Your best friend, your sister, Your 8th grade picture- It's enough to want to lop the thing right off... So help me god, I gotta see a priest. I gotta see a priest. I godda go to confession. I'm gonna call the police I'm gonna do a bad thing. Don't tell my mama, don't tell my papa, Baby, I've been dreamin' bad, bad dreams.