The simple men live the simple life in big log cabins They're best of friends with a simpleton and a horse called Dobbins Their yards resound with the simple sound of blackbirds and robins And their wives make simple samplers with thimbles and bobbins We envy them, the simple men The simple men we envy them We envy the simple men They're terribly superstitious, fear the ghost and the gollum They sit in a chair in the mountain air and breathe in the pollen Their tweeds and plaids are homespun adorned with a sporran They're always at war with the valley folk because they are foreign We envy them, the simple men The simple men we envy them We envy the simple men Funny how it seems the more that we evolve The more the basic problems of our lives get solved The more we yearn for harder, simpler times back when We envy them, the simple men Their pigs have lice and their rats have mice and their dogs have rabies They dig in the muck to make graves they mark with the names of their babies They beat their wives, it serves them right it's in Deuteronomy And for their simple daughters they reserve clitorectomy We envy them, the simple men The simple men we envy them We envy the simple men Funny how the symbols of humanity Turn out to be the images of brutality Projecting soul on the soulless again We envy them, the simple men