"Would the last communist out
Switch off the lights?"
They shout as they go
Into the night
They think that it's over
Maybe it is
But I'm staying here
Alone with this promise
In my mind
It still exists
I'm the last communist
Alone in the Soviet Union
(In the Soviet Union)
There's a light switch on the wall
(In the Soviet Union)
And a canteen down the hall
(In the Soviet Union)
I make faces with a torch
(In the Soviet Union)
In the mirror on the back of the bathroom door
(In the Soviet Union)
Shining up the lino on the corridor floor
(In the Soviet Union)
Eating dead pigeons cold and raw
(In the Soviet Union)
Drinking vodka through a straw
(In the Soviet Union)
Weeping for the visions Lenin saw
I like it here
I like it fine
The radiator's warm
The bus is on time
And healthcare is free
A job is for life
The caretaker is me
I'm switching on the lights
In my mind
It will exist
I'm the first communist
Alive in the Soviet Union
(In the world of freedom)
You lived a long time ago
(In the world of freedom)
You filled your shoes with six black toes
(In the world of freedom)
You rode to work on a big skateboard
(In the world of freedom)
And swiped your celery barcode
(In the world of freedom)
Exploding filippino washing machines
(In the world of freedom)
Your sinister servants watch TV
(In the world of freedom)
You shake our palm trees violently
(In the world of freedom)
Until the coconuts fill your plastic tray
(In the world of freedom)
You're writing up the budget and you're purchasing supplies
(In the world of freedom)
It's always someone else's turn to die
(In the world of freedom)
You're launching major missile strikes (on the Soviet Union)
(In the world of freedom)
To prove you'll never drink Zamzam cola
(In the world of freedom)
The car protecting your child is killing mine
(In the world of freedom)
You're blinded by the headlights on the autobahn
(In the world of freedom)
A chimp made off with your sports jacket, boy
(In the world of freedom)
Your king is a monkey and a mongoloid
Today I'm alone
The war hasn't even begun
But your king hasn't won
One day you'll come
It's so clear
Our future's here
I am just the caretaker
All is forgiven!
Come back communism!