(One, two) Welcome here to the Land of La LA No one's home when you're needing someone You made me leave my lovely couch When you threw my little white TV out In the cold, cold streets of New York City My luck ran out in the Land of Plenty You won't come over, cuz I got no couch And you won't come see me with my TV out But, they want the (Say what?) Ruff Stuff (Uh huh) But they They want la la LAs (Ruff Stuff) And the angels said Welcome here to the Land of La LA Friendly here, in the flaky fuck-fuck Can't keep a rubber on your lame ass dick So why you gotta make all the bad girls sick? How many texts does it take to talk? How many flags till I'm finally walking? Through the backstage, who are you? Who are you, and what do you do? But, they want the (Yeah, right!) Ruff Stuff (Uh huh) But they They want la la LAs (No way) (Ruff Stuff) And the angels said Welcome here to the Land of La LA Happy to serve, don't quit your day job Can't get ahead or off the streets So, who do you know, and who do you meet? Boots on the ground or a drone in your head! Stranger to welfare, ain't no healthcare No one cares, so what do you wear? What do you wear and no one cares Welcome here to the Land of La LA Welcome here to the Land of La LA La-la-la-la, la, la-la-la-la La-la-la-la, la, la-la-la-la La