I sat down to watch the game My wife came in She'd found my cocaine I tore out her eyes Now she can't find my supplies Or much else Oh, what a Perfect Wife Love of my life ♪ She sang along to CCR I smashed her face into the VCR I choked her until her tongue was hanging Then I grabbed that thing and pulled it out Oh, what a tasteless wife Love of my Don't say word my darling I know how you feel It's been years since I have looked at you this way And if I've hurt you Please forgive me Love makes you do funny things ♪ Her playing the piano Sounded like a thirsty camel in a lake I took her little fingers As a souvenir of her playing Oh, what a talented wife Love of my life ♪ Coming home from work one day My wife had found a new way to rig the door Shotgun pointed towards me Trigger pulled My body lying on the floor Oh, what a talented wife And the last thing she said to me was Don't say a word my darling I know how you feel It's been years since I have looked at you this way And if I've hurt you Please forgive me Love makes you do funny things