Here we have our dust free dining set We guarantee it won't collect a spec Freeing up the children to instead Grow into your molding Heed more of your scolding Go early to their new self-making beds It seems like you'd be tired of losing face Like you'd want to put the children in their place The more you have to tell them to do their chores The more you run the risk of being ignored If you're lucky they'll turn out as good as you You tell them that they're good kids But you know that it's not true Your father drank a little You're on liver number two Progress has a way of feigning ease Convenient new inventions bait the tease For, though it is impossible to cure A husband bent on cheating The oxygen's depleting A child who's always bragging A wife's persistent nagging We're equipped to live as though it were If you're lucky they'll turn out as good as you You tell them that they're good kids But you know that it's not true Your father drank a little You're on liver number two