You buy me dinner when I'm in town We talk about records that you know Play the friendship card upon me And out the door Somebody said we hurt your feelings With our little dirty jokes Then you accused us of stealing Back our soul Then you say that we're the assholes 'Cause we bitched about the hassles Are you sleeping in your castles? And we're still riding down the road And I hear you're all offended By the letters that I wrote It's just a shame it hadn't ended Long ago When you sick your lawyers on me Told them to go for the throat And you just sat back and watched them Have a go Then you say that we're the assholes 'Cause we bitched about the hassles Why you're sleeping in your castles? And we're still riding down the road But I never would deny We have our share of the blame to absorb But, when you say that you're the reason For the things that we've achieved I want to kick down your door You like to say that we're the assholes As if we somehow done you wrong We just do what we have to To carry on I'm sure you'll find another asshole To replace us for a song You'll keep your office and expense account And we'll keep traveling along When you say that we're all assholes Guess it'd be useless to deny I'm just saying you're the reason why