Welcome to Club XIII All the usual suspects are acting weird The bartenders can't be bothered We're all glad you're here The door guy's got an attitude The disco light's obscene The crowd is sometimes rude Welcome to Club XIII ♪ Tonight we're gonna be entertained By our favorite Foghat cover band Radio Tokyo playing Sweet Home Afghanistan Welcome to Club XIII Penny beer and cheap cocaine Girls warmed up by tanning beds Orphans left out in the rain Sidewinders in spandex The parking lot is packed Everyone is waiting outside Meanwhile, Adam's House Cat is the opening act Train songs and People Who Died Train songs and People Who Died ♪ Welcome to Club XIII We'll be back same time next year To play you all our pretty songs 'Til they drag us out of here Maybe we'll be horse farm drunk Maybe we'll act out obscene Muscle Shoals just needs some punk Welcome to Club XIII Welcome to Club XIII Our glory days did kinda suck Everyone needs a friend Everyone needs a fuck When we come this way again Notify our next of kin We'll smell of weed and gasoline Welcome to Club XIII We'll smell of weed and gasoline Welcome to Club XIII