Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, it's so nice to be back
At Royal Albert Hall
What a dump!
(No, we're not)
No, of course, we're very excited to be here
It's very exciting for any musician
So many, pretty much every icon you can think of has stood here
It's in a f-in' Beatles-song
It's in the best Beatles-song!
Arguably
The Beatles played here
The Rolling Stones played here
On the same night!
John Lennon stood right there
That actually tastes more like Keith Richards
You've met Charles Manson?
Now, we played here nine years ago
That's how long it was
And when we were here nine years ago
I asked if I could play their awesome massive pipe organ
And they said, "No"
Rock bands aren't allowed to play pipe organs
Even if you're a soft-rock band this year
And so...
I mean, y-y-, they said you had to be part of
The Royal Society of Pipe Organ Players, or some such sh-t
(Whoo!)
So, we came back today, nine years later
And I asked again
"I'd like to play the pipe organ"
Once again, I got a flat "No"
(Boo!)
I know...
Now, in his defense, I do wanna say, thank you, to Royal Albert
For inviting us
Or Albert, as I call him
He's a nice guy
But one of these days, I'm just gonna route around back-stage
And find the keys to that f-in' pipe organ
And then just take matters into my own hand
(Whoo!)
Now, ladies and gentlemen
I hope you're in the mood
For some sweet soft bummer-rock
Because that's what we intend to lay on you tonight
It's not gonna be like last year, with all the...
Noisy guitars and the track-suits
We... we've already got our suits and ties on
There's no turnin' around now
Just sweet soft bummer-rock
Let's play another one of those right now, fellows