Mr. Jones knows The Stones Rock 'n' roll Is in his blood and in his bones Shines his shoes Kicks some ass Counts the booze And laminates his pass Does some wizz Loves the biz Your Eric Claptons And your Nancys and your Sids Mr. Jones helped me understand The worthless piece of lowlife that I am Changed the rules Took control Bribing the ref And widening the goals Mr. J's masterplan Fifty ways to patronize the fans Life is cheap, buy some now Satisfy the sheep Sacrifice the sacred cow Born to boogie Disco Tex Mr. Groovy The God of groupie sex Born to boogie Knows the Stones The only thing in common Between me and Mr. Jones Verbal gymnastics can't help you now We've got fifty tons plastic We're gonna laminate your house Born to boogie Disco Tex Mr. Groovy The god of groupie sex Born to boogie Knows The Stones The only thing in common Between me and Mr. Jones Mr. Jones Supercool While you were out We were pissing in your pool