I been feeling a little anxious As any sane man may Ripping through these liquid-modern kinda nights and days Sweatin' in the Food Lion line And locking every lock up twice So certainly uncertain that I sought out a little advice I said, Hello Nurse... Is the doctor about? Not to be terse But I bout flipped out Sure, I'll hold, I've been holding as long as i can If you can't help me, can you tell me who can? Doctor said, "The way I see you got about two options, Now the church might say there's more But we can set you some appointments up, Put that duress to the test galore Bout one week and waist-size later, Anesthetized, in bed by 9 I got a call up from the clinic, They said it turns out that you're fine It's a pistol in the pillow or a pill for in the head I know the world is cold but you're too old To bellyache and make em hold your hand Keep your liver off that liquor And the shiver off your bed It's a pistol in the pillow or a pill for in the head I had a little lunch with Hank and Eddy, A little tuna fish and wine I was listing off my symptoms that's when Hank said, "That's the same as mine" Well we swapped tales of our ailments and swallers of that wine Made ourselves a plan, man, to take what we can in time Well if it gets too hard It's a pistol in the pillow or a pill for in the head I know the world is cold but you're too old To bellyache and make em hold your hand Keep your liver off that liquor And the shiver off your bed It's a pistol in the pillow or a pill for in the head I said it's a pistol in the pillow or a pill for in the head