Hi, do you wanna hear a story?
It happened a long time ago
In the ancient year of 1993
When the Earth fell under dark days
All the sitcoms were the same
There was nothing special enough for good dads to watch on TV
Basic cable was doomed
Quantum Leap was ending, and all dads were sad
Then, he arrived
When the moon is high and when the lights are low
Dad will say goodbye and watch his favorite show
Walker Texas Ranger, a savior from the west
Fighting naughty crime, he kicks it in the chest
Nothing stops his foot and nothing stops his fist
He kicked right through a car, and burnt a man to crisp
He flew a jetpack, and punched right through a wall
He jumped out of a plane and in the hearts of all
Feeling down or feeling hurt?
Just stressed out from all your work?
Didn't sleep cause loved one snored?
Being chased by a drug lord?
Well don't you fear and don't you curse
'Cause joy on Earth is this here verse
When you fear that you can't take more
Just turn the tube to channel 4
Bearded angel kicking Fords
A prophet for Dad to adore
He stands for good, he stands for right
He quantum kicks and final fights
Dad enjoys all through the night
Justice under Southwest skies
Forget your vice and float away, It's 1993 again
We're never in danger
Thanks to Texas Ranger
Walker holds the power
An angel for an hour
Sing this quantum chorus
An anthem for Chuck Norris
Eight eternal seasons
A human god giving quantum beatings
♪
The eyes of
♪
Eyes of a
♪
Ranger are on you

Dad is just an average human
Livin' everyday like Truman
On the couch, just channel cruisin'
Study all of Walker's movements
Entire show is Dad's favorite part
He's programmed with a beating heart
I mean I was born here like you
A normal type of birthing too
In hospital here inside Earth
But Dad, he was the very first
The one to quench the quantum thirst
Now bop his tunes 'til your head hurts
And cut some shapes into the dirt
Like Walker did to that one jerk
But do not read into these words
Or you'll get kicked beyond the worlds
We're never in danger
Thanks to Texas Ranger
Walker holds the power
An angel for an hour
Sing this quantum chorus
An anthem for Chuck Norris
Eight eternal seasons
A human god giving quantum beatings
The eyes of the Ranger
Are upon you