Noel Coward was a charmer As a writer he was Brahma Velvet, jackets and pajamas The gay divorcee and other dramas There ain't half been some clever bastards (Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders) There ain't half been some clever bas-tards Van Gogh did some eyeball pleasers He must have been a pencil squeezer He didn't do the Mona Lisa That was an Italian geezer There ain't half been some clever bastards (Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders) There ain't half been some clever bas-tards Einstein can't be classed as witless He claimed atoms were the littlest When you did a bit of splitting-em-ness Frighten everybody shitless There ain't half been some clever bastards Probably got help from their mum (Who had help from her mum) There ain't half been some clever bastards Now that we've had some Let's hope that there's lots more to come There ain't half been some clever bastards (Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders) There ain't half been some clever bas-tards Okey-dokey Oh, Segovia Da-laa la-laa da-daa da-lee De dump di dump de dump-dump-diddle li-lee There ain't half been some clever bastards (Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders) There ain't half been some clever bastards (Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders) There ain't half been some clever bastards (Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders) There ain't half been some clever bastards