Well I been around for a long time And I learned along the way If you wanna go on the radio There are words you just can't say ♪ Now I thought hard about it And I found a way around it Help me go on the radio You gotta say the words I can't You got to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song that ain't Come on, ma'am! Won't you gimme a hand? And say the words I can't? You got to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song that ain't ♪ Down in Carolina I met a girl with a nice So I reached down between us And I whipped out my We skipped right past the sucking And got right down to She turned and said, "I gotta ask Would you slip it into my" Help me go on the radio And say the words I can't You got to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song that ain't! Come on, ma'am! Won't you gimme a hand? And say the words I can't? You got to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song that ain't! ♪ Her husband was a trucker He was a filthy mother I didn't want to wrassle With this no good stinkin' I heard him come through the kitchen door While I was banging his filthy I knew I'd end up in a ditch If he caught me riding his Help me go on the radio And say the words I can't You got to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song that ain't! Come on, ma'am! Won't you gimme a hand? And say the words I can't? You got to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song that ain't! ♪ "Mercy, please!" I told him But he grabbed me by the And he did something heinous He exposed his I said, "I don't mean to seem crass But why are you buttering up your" He said, "My wife's a beard and she lured you here Because I'm queer and I love it in the" You helped me go on the radio By saying the words I can't You had to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song that ain't! Sir and ma'am, thanks for lending a hand By saying the words I can't You had to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song The filthiest song The dirtiest song that ain't!