Okay, so, stop me if you've heard this
So, this guy walks into a bar
And like, this is just a regular dive bar, nothing special
And they see their therapist
And the therapist is like four drinks in, drunk as fuck
And the guy just got through some heavy shit, you know how it is, so
He goes to the bar and starts chatting up this therapist
And this is what he says
"I think I need some sleep, ooh baby
I keep begging for something, but it don't come cheap
I think I need release, ooh baby
I just pick up the pieces 'til it feels like peace"
Cause I'm hoping (hoping), praying (praying)
That if I'm gonna stay (if I'm gonna stay)
It'll be better, better than before
But I'm worn out (worn out), broken (broken)
Man, I feel like a joke (feel like a joke)
But I'm not laughing, laughing anymore"
Oh-oh-oh
So the therapist is kinda pissed off at this point
Like she-, like this was her day off
She's tryna drink to forget some serious shit that she's going through
So, she chugs the rest of her drink and I mean chugs it
Slams the glass on the table
Tips what she thought was a five, turns out it was a 20
She doesn't discover this until the next morning
That's not important
Either way, she says this to the man
"The fuck I'm supposed to do?
Ooh baby
I know troubles are plenty 'cause I got mine too
So if you're feeling drab, ooh baby
Then check with your insurance if they'll pay my tab"
You've been hopeless (hopeless) lately (lately)
And if you're gonna stay (if you're gonna stay)
It'd be better (better), better to ignore
'Cause I'm worn out (worn out), broken (broken)
And I feel like a joke (and I feel like a joke)
But I'm not laughing, laughing anymore (woo)
So, the man inconsolably weeping
Feeling there really is nowhere else to turn
Gets in his car, drives wherever his maniac little heart desires
And ends up at a bridge, overlooking the freeway
The cops that are called on him coerce him to climb off the railing
He's sent to the mental hospital
And is told that he'll stay there involuntarily
For a minimum of two weeks
The next morning, the therapist wakes up with a splitting headache
And no recollection of the night before
She waits in her office for him to stop by
But he doesn't for reasons unbeknownst to her
He's charged fifty dollars for being a no-show