Diageo Diageo have mounted a Crusade Creating Arthur's Day they've suckered us into their charade Start 'em off on Alco-Pops tastes just like lemonade Get 'em into the hit while they're young and none the wiser Diageo pump the volume up on Arthur's Day With The Manic Street Preachers, Primal Scream, Tom Jones and David Gray To flog their alcohol they're revvin the youngsters up for a mighty spree Happy Happy Happy Happy Arthur's Day Its such... a Happy Clappy Advertisin' Scheme Drink sensibly they implore us, as their Hosannas sound a never-ending 'n kids get hooked on the fantasies that flash before us Arthurs Alcoholiday is comin' round again He's the patron saint of porter canonized by the Advertisin' Men The medics in the ambulance 'll be workin overtime, The A&E 'll be like a drunk tank in the firing line While Diageo goes AWOL at closing time Happy Happy Happy Happy Arthur's Day Its such... a Happy Clappy Advertisin' Scheme Drink sensibly they implore us, as their Hosannas sound a never-ending 'n kids get hooked on the fantasies that flash before us