No money job or food On the day that I met you You flew to aspen and out of my life Gotta get out of this town I'm California bound Return your briefcase and make you my wife I'm sick of not paying my bills on time I'm heading where beer flows like wine Convince my friend to ride with me Escort your luggage cross country We've lost our jobs but I know what to do Return it full of I owe you's We made friends and enemies On our way to the Rockies John Denver's full of shit, or I drove east Redeemed myself and traded our dog Straight up for some kid's hog Got a makeover, brand new suit A Lamborghini with Mary's loot I feel bad but I'll make it right When I marry Mary Samsonite Harry, your hands are so damn cold But that's nothing compared to your frozen heart and soul You monster, you'll get what's coming to you Turbolax is my prescription, one hefty spoon Your anal pain's entirely in vain The future Mary Christmas, wears a wedding ring What was all that one in a million talk When I told you I like you a lot I wish you well, I wish you joy I want to make love To a school boy