Eighteen fucking years full of self doubt Only thing I do is let myself down Trying to get better but I don't know how I wish this would just go away now When did my self esteem drop so low How come I don't know how to let go When did my fucking life fall apart Why has my life become so dismal Everyday is just the same fucking routine So trust in me to ruin everything I'll make you want to leave me My only wish is to be lonely It's just the best for you I'm not someone you would want to be with Watching everyone leave feels bittersweet It's the best for them but not for me I always end up feeling empty But I guess it's better than nothing I know I'm stuck this way forever Nothing ever gets better I'm stuck this way forever I will never get better I'll push you away From me so You will never see The dark in Me, I can't believe I let you see Me this way It's not too late For you to leave I don't want you to see the mess that is me Everything is so dismal