I thought I had COVID about three times I'm one of those idiots I was like, I think I have it can you feel
I'm bad with pain too, like the other day I hit my elbow right on that spot where if I had a gun I'd be dead now, you know that
I can't do pain, that's why I can never be a cop
I could walk around with a gun right here, there's fifty things a day where I'd be like fuck that, that ain't worth it
That's my main problem by the way, with the whole the from the police idea
What about the people who want to commit suicide by cop, what about them
Anyhoo, we'll put a pin in that but
We had a lot of protest in the yard and now we have protesters that just live here
They are not at a protest, they are just here
I saw a protester at the washing square park, she had green hair and dirty legs
And she's holding a piece of cardboard and a sharpie, it says abolish billionaires
And she's standing there
And I thought I don't think it's gonna do it, it doesn't feel like that's gonna result
And Jeff goes, what's happening with me
Sadly it's gonna be okay for him
I thought it was good how young people get out there and they express themselves
They went out there to solve a lot of problems
Not all of problems, but some of them
They, they went out there to stop discrimination, eh not all discrimination just some of them
Which is a weird form of discrimination but, there are groups
There are groups that are discriminated against who don't have any protesters or any people working for them
And we all discriminated against these people, like ugly people everybody discriminates against ugly people
They do, and it's awful, I'd rather be discriminated against for my race, than for being ugly
'Cause you, you might not lose a job or a promotion but no body kisses you on the lips like your whole fucking life, like try that
This is what we say to ugly people, we don't like your face, just don't like it
So no one's gonna fall in love with you and it's unanimous sorry
And we just expect ugly people be like, oh no I understand I mean sure
It's my head shape it's no good for you so I'll go without the things that matter in life
Also overweight people, overweight people deal with things that none of us deal with 'cause I'm not overweight
There's people who are discriminated against 'cause of their weight
I read a story once bout a woman who is six hundred pounds and she couldn't get medical care
'Cause everytime she goes to the doctor, he just says it's 'cause she's fat everytime
She's like my knees hurt, he's like my knees hurt just looking at ya what do you think was gonna happen
She's like I have chest pain and he says, yeah 'cause you're over capacity so there are reverting
She's like I got shot in the head, he's like yeah 'cause you're fucking fat someone shot you in the fucking head 'cause you're fat
That's a terrible story
Here's the worst part of the story and this is true this is true
She needed an MRI 'cause she has some serious, she's six hundred pounds she doesn't fit in the machine
Do you know what they did? They sent her to the zoo
I'm not kidding, they sent her to the fucking zoo
That's what we do for fat people who need an MRI
Eh here's a prescription, go to the zoo
Yeah that's where you should go, you should go to the zoo
By the way do you know how many fat people we have in this country?
About six hundred billion trillion thousands of 'em
You know how many trans people there are? About thirty eight
But if you're trans and you need a restroom and it's awkward we'll change every restroom
But if you're fat and you need an MRI you go to the zoo you fat bitch
Just go to the zoo
You go experience that today
What happens when she gets to the zoo
What actually fucking happens when she arrives at the zoo
Hi, are you here to see the monkeys
No I'm here for an MRI
Oh shit, alright, yeah, uh uh, okay just stand in the straw over here
Yeah you're after the walrus who has limbphoma
By the way why is there an MRI machine at the fucking zoo
Who was developing that instead of a fat human being MRI who's paying for this shit
You don't give an elephant a fucking Magnetic Resident Imagine test are you fucking high
That's obscene, if an elephant is sick you just listen, you do this thing
Miss I think you gonna die today
I'm saying this out of respect for elephants by the way, because were supposed to respect how they live, they don't fucking care their diseases
This is not their culture this is our way, let's fix it
Oh he's sick, that not how elephants live
An elephant in the Serengeti isn't like I have a lump I have to see my oncologist
When an elephant gets cancer he falls over and takes his fucking turn in becoming food
You don't put an elephant in a state of the art phew
What if you find cancer? Will you give him chemotherapy
Skinny elephant with a pink baseball hat
Each day is a gift