Psst, pssst, hey Okay the kids are gone to bed Grandma and Grandpa have been asleep for hour And I want you to put on the headphones And I want you to crank that knob up to ten Because we all have a little bit of rocker in this I know you do Maybe some Allman Brothers Maybe some Billy Idol I want you to crank that knob up And I want you to listen to the rock version of Fruitcake Makes Me Puke ♪ Every year at Christmas time my friends all like to bake They make cookies rolls and bread and ham and pie For some weird reason, they all send me a fruitcake And when I tell them that I ate it, it's a lie I use them as an anchor for my boat out on the lake I made barbells for my cousins, Merv and Luke But if I try to eat some, my intestines start to quake 'Cause fruitcake makes me puke Fruitcake makes me puke It happens every time I eat it So I know it's not a fluke Fruitcake makes me puke Yeah, that's the one thing about Christmas That no one can dispute Fruitcake makes me puke Well, I keep one in my office That's a handy pave away I heard they use these hammers and the muke But when I try to eat some I can't get it off the plate 'Cause fruitcake makes me puke, yeah Fruitcake makes me puke It happens every time I eat it So I know it's not a fluke Fruitcake makes me puke It's the one thing about Christmas That no one can dispute Fruitcake makes me puke ♪ And the main thing about fruitcake That I have found It looks the same way coming up As it is going down Fruitcake makes me puke It happens every time I eat it So I know it's not a fluke Fruitcake makes me puke Yeah, that's the one thing about Christmas That no one can dispute Fruitcake makes me puke Yeah, that's the one thing about Christmas That no one can dispute Fruitcake makes me puke Yeah, it makes me puke Fruitcake makes me puke Fruitcake makes me puke Fruitcake makes me puke