It's a quarter
Mama ain't got no money
Hey, mama, where this money come from?
Leave her be
Don't get her goin'
But, it's a-
If she wanted to tell you
She'd of told you
You know what happens to children who snoop?
What?
Once there was a boy
Who asked his mama one too many questions
And he died
He died!
Aw, shut up
Oh, he did!
For true?
For true
Once upon a time in a shack by the lake
Live a boy and his mama so broke they break
Ugliest child that you ever saw
Name Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw
Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw
Didn't have a penny
No, he didn't have any
So he asked his ma
Old Lady Coleslaw
"Ma I'm broke
And ma I'm glum!"
And Glory Hallelujah to Kingdom Come!
Ma reach in her pockets
And she give him some!
Look here, Roosevelt
See here, Ro
I got a penny
No, mama, no
I got a nickel
Won't buy a pickle
That's no go
You way too slow
I got a dime
Now, that's a crime!
How 'bout a quarter?
Well, that's a starter
I got two
Mama, I love you
Got three quarters
To be spent
Pretty mama Coleslaw
75 cent
Caroline shows each silver quarter
To her kids
She's a divorcee
Thank God we can eat now
Thanks to poor, crazy Noah
Who's just a stoopnagle
Can't hang on to a quarter
But at least now at supper
They talk about me
Sweet, old Mrs. Coleslaw
She say
"Roosevelt, Roosevelt have you a time
Spend a little money at the five and dime!"
But Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw
He born dumb, he say
"Mama, oh mama where this change come from?
Mama, oh mama where this change come from?"
Mama went wild
"I earned it, child!"
Then she whacked him
And she smacked him upside his head
But she hit too hard
And the child dropped dead!
And he sprouted wings
And he flew up to heaven
And heaven look like the 7-11!
And all the stars of heaven
They was pennies and dimes
Red-hot!
Sweet-tart!
Lemons and limes!
Moon pie
Food dye
Tootsie-pop!
Pop gun, squirt gun
Sticky bun
Silly-putty
Nutty-butter
Sixty-four colors in the Crayola pack, pack, pack!
Bird call, slap paddle
Tinkywinks
Skip rope
Licorice
Pickup sticks!
Magic tricks
Lego bricks
Pirate hooks
And comic books!
Comic books!
Superman
Batman
Aquaman
And Iron Man
Spiderman
X-men
Daredevil
Doctor Strange
And Wonder Woman
Diana
Princess of the Amazons
Magical lariat
Golden tiara
Bulletproof bracelets
Lipstick and mascara!
Stronger than anyone
Six times as pretty
An eagle brassiere
With a wing on each titty
Wing on each titty
Wing on each titty
Titty, titty, titty, titty
Titty, titty, titty, titty!
They talk about how my mama died
They talk about my tragedy
They wish that they could take me in
And I could live with Caroline
And Emmie, Jackie, Larry, Joe
Emmie, Jackie, Larry, Joe
Each evening I could up and go
Home to be a Thibodeaux
Emmie, Jackie, Larry, Joe...
And Noah
Noah Thibodeaux!
Oh, she did it
She did it
She killed her kid
Oh, mama
Oh, mama
See what you did?
R.I.P
She found him dead
His mean, old ma
She screamed, "Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw!
Oh, my child
My darling son
Your time on earth is gone and done
And you are lost and gone before!"
But Roosevelt
An angel now
He bought out the store
And he still got nickels and dimes galore
His mama cried
"He's gone too soon"
But Roosevelt is sitting 'longside of the moon
And he says
"Miss Moon, will you be my Mrs.?"
I might
You sweet
But you gotta be rich
I'm rich
I'm rich
Will you give me kisses?
I will, sweet pea
Indeed, I shall
I'll be your lovely
Little looney gal
'Cause you are sweet
And you are rich
So they went up to God
And they got hitch
And I will wax
And I will wane
I'll turn your brain
Into green moon cheese
I'll do every first thing that I please
I'll be your honey
And I'll spend all your money
But I'll shine so bright!
I'll be your delight
And I'll grow full
And I'll grow fat
And you'll say to yourself
Now, how about that?
How about that?
And that's the last
That anyone saw
Of Roosevelt Petrucius
Coleslaw
He flapped his wings
And he flew away
And say goodbye to heaven
And to JFK (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And he's flying through space
To this very day
Countin' all the stars in the Milky Way
He count so high he's a millionaire
And he doesn't have a care
And now every morning
Day after day
There's change in his pockets
Quarters, pennies
He's leaving them there
And I am mean (a penny for Rosie and off he go)
And I am tough (a nickel, a quarter, he got some dough)
But 30 dollars ain't enough! (He rise in the skies and look down below, and say)
("I'm gonna buy me the sky) 30!
(Didn't have a penny, yeah) dollars
(But now I got plenty, so I say good-bye)
30 dollars! (No, mama, don't cry)
(If I'm broke!) Ain't right
(If I'm glum!) Ain't decent
(Glory hallelujah to kingdom come)
Change in his pockets just lyin' there
I reach in his pockets
And I find me some
For free! (I'm free)
As the air! (As the air!)