I should be happy she found a friend
Someone to talk to
Someone to study with
Someone to share a joke
Someone to buddy with
Heh, buddy with
I should be happy for her
Happy, happy, happy for her
I should be happy
And, a gentlemen can be rearranged to spell elegant man (ah)
But, does he have to be so weird
And does he have to talk so much
And do they have to sit so close
And do their kneecaps have to touch
Why is he sitting in the front, why is his tuba in the back
Jesus buddy take a breath, he's just a harmless brainiac
Hey do you guys want to share my muffin?
Nope! No food in my car
What are you doing?
That was my breakfast!
I should be happy she likes a boy
Someone who's friendly
Someone who's well behaved
Someone who's not tattooed
Someone who's never shaved
I should be happy for her
Happy, happy, happy for her
I should be happy
A duck with hiccups
That's so good! You get it!
But I don't like the way this feels
And I don't want to see them flirt
And I don't want him near my Kim
Cause I don't want her getting hurt
I think I need to shut this down
I think I let it go too far
I need to nip this in the bud
I need to stop this speeding car!
Enough!
My daughter is a precious flower
I won't allow her to be picked
Oh god
What?
Now I'm not trying to be mean
And I don't mean to be a jerk
But I remember how this goes
And I know how the hormones work (what did I do?)
I know I'm getting huffy (please stop)
But he's all up in my face
'Cause you let him in my car
Which you know is sacred space! (cut it out)
Maybe you're just mad, I understand but that's enough
But the way you didn't fool me with that "share a muffin" stuff (I-)
I may not be the brightest, but I'm smarter that I look
And I know what boys are after cause yet I wrote the book (wow)
Your mom and I had urges (dad!)
I'm not saying that they're wrong
But they come with repercussions that how babies come along (dad!)
You're a horny little punk
That thinks maybe there's a chance
But I swear to god, Weetis
You're not getting in her pants (eww!)
You're not getting in her pants
You're not getting in her pants (whoop)
You're not getting in her pants
You're not getting in her pants (aah!)
Her pants, her pants, pants, pants, pants, pants (woah!)
Pants, pants