When opportunity knocks
When possibility calls
Take the bull by the horns
Grab life by the balls
You gotta take the reigns
Break the rules
So you can make your shitty life better
You gotta grab the good stuff before it's gone
'Cause once it's gone it don't come back
I met a nice guy at the dog track
He was tall
He was Greek
He was possibly gay
He needed a Green Card
I needed the cash
We got married in Passaic last May
You should have seen the dress I wore
It was haute couture and it was beautiful
You should have seen the dress I wore
Yeah, I stole it
It made my shitty life better
When opportunity knocks
When possibility calls
Take the bull by the horns
Grab life by the balls
You gotta earn a buck
Turn a trick
So you can make your shitty life better
So, you're married?
Widowed, actually
What?
It's a long story
I met a lady with dementia
She was old
She was sweet
She was legally blind
She needed a roommate
I needed a room
I was out of work
She was out of her mind
You should have seen the rings she wore
Let me underscore that they were beautiful
She gave me all the rings she wore
Yeah, she thought I was her daughter
But they made my shitty life better
When opportunity knocks
When possibility calls
Take the bull by the horns
Grab life by the balls
You gotta catch a break
Snatch a purse
So you can make your shitty life-
This is your advice?
To take advantage of sick old ladies?
No!
Not just them
Hey!
Hey
When life gives you lemons
When life gives you lemons
When life gives you lemons
Ooh, ooh, ooh
(You gotta go out)
You gotta go (you gotta go out)
You gotta go out (you gotta go out)
You gotta go out (you got to go out and)
And steal some apples
'Cause, who the fuck wants lemons?
Yeah! (When opportunity knocks, when possibility calls)
Yeah, yeah, yeah (take the bull by the horns, grab life by the balls)
You gotta hustle hard
You gotta muscle through
So you can make your shitty life
(Legally blind!)
Better!
When opportunity knocks
When possibility calls
Take the bull by the horns
Grab life by the balls
You gotta seize those balls
Squeeze some souls
So you can make your shitty life
Better!
Your shitty little life better
(You gotta make your life)
Better!
Whoa, yeah! (Your shitty little life better)
C'mon Kimmy (you gotta make your life better)
You gotta make your life (your shitty little life better)
You gotta make it, you (you gotta make your shitty-)
You gotta make your shitty life (life)
Better!