If whiskey were a woman She'd do her best to get you drunk Lie quietly beside you Watch you sleep If weed were a woman She'd fill up both your lungs Get you higher than you thought you could ever be If whiskey were a woman If a prayer was a woman She would wait patiently In your throat until you found the strength to speak If the sunrise was a woman She would surround you with salvation Get you standing right up off your knees If whiskey were a woman She'd be nothing like me Cause I have given in I have given up You wanna love something that I could never be So take me off the shelf Take me right out of your arms And pour yourself a glass of whiskey If the cure was a woman She would get under your skin And take all of your troubles away She would remind you who you were Before all the pain set in When you promised her your love would never fade If whiskey were a woman She'd be nothing like me Cause I have given in I have given up You wanna love something that I could never be So take me off the shelf Take me right out of your arms And pour yourself a glass of whiskey If whiskey were a woman She'd be nothing like me If whiskey were a woman She'd be nothing like me