Gather 'round and settle down
For a story will unveil
And stay me thinks
With Dave and Minx
As we tell you a haunting tale
Welcome-come to our wonderful town
Welcome-come we are humble and proud
It's the happiest place
With a circular space!
Where we all come together and sing
La, la, la, la
We be living in our pilgrim hats
With our buildings thatched roofs
You can chill, relax
Cause nothing bad ever happens in this town
Nothing bad ever happens in this town
But when the town goes to sleep
You can hear the sound of something devious
Of something quite mysterious
Lurking in the dark
Do you have the knife?
Yeah man tonight
Someone's gonna be mad in the afterlife
Gotta be the cleanest dirt-nap the mafia class can bring
And they won't suspect a thing
Help help! The sheriff is dead!
Either that or he's really sleepy and red
Well I was on the lookout and I saw those guys
Sneak into his house at night!
Lynch them all on sight!
We're innocent?
All in favour of death say aye!
We'll sleep soundly tonight
Cause nothing bad ever happens in this town
Nothing bad ever happens in this town
But when the town goes to sleep
You can hear the sound of something devious
Of something quite mysterious
Lurking in the dark
But not for long I'll add fuel to the fire
By turning the town into a funeral pyre!
I got a burning ambition
Add the last of this gas on the thatch
With this match says it's time for ignition!
Help help! The lookout's house is in cinders
I told that guy to stop using Tinder!
I'll investigate...
Hey, I can smell an arsonist's gas!
Pardon me?
What? Ew, not that
I mean you set the fire!
Hang her immediately!
All say aye, AYE!
Bye bye! Now we can be free
Cause nothing bad ever happens in this town
Nothing bad ever happens in this town
But when the town goes to sleep
You can hear the sound of something devious
Of something quite mysterious
Lurking in the dark
It's dead frosty out cause I'm a serial killer
One stab and no investigator left to turn me in and
It's on the the next house to attack
AAAH!
Gotcha, you stepped right into my veteran booby trap
I saved the town. I saved the town!
Wait, is anybody else around?
Me, I'm a medium, and it's just us
What a painful lonely existence
Can you ask how the afterlife is?
Uh-huh, the whole town is there reunited
And every single one of them is saying it's great there
Hmm, then it's time for some euthanasia