I thought I knew what I wanted But everything that I get I end up pushing away I spend too much time fearing what I can't control Cant control And like the fool I am i never lean The day the devil won I lost my will to live What could it be What's stopping me Unable to see what's right in front of me Fighting to find a meaning in this madness If the fear would disappear will i find my way I'll probably still kill myself just not for awhile Here's to every laugh every tear every smile Don't try to stop me just leave me be Because the thoughts in my head are not the ones that you see There we stood equally apathetic Waiting for the other to say goodbye first Though I try to unfold it there seems no point to this madness You pulled me in you made me want to live forever Now I know what losing forever feels like There's so many things that I could say But often I feel like I cant control my brain Staring at the clock wishing it would stop I've been too fucked up lately to see what I got If I cant make it through then I'm better off dead I've come to dread the place I lay my head I thought I knew what I wanted but everything that I want I end up pushing away And like the fool I am I never fucking learn Fuck