He loves to be the life of the party
Even though we've heard it all before
Showing off his encyclopedic knowledge
Of all the dates and the players and the scores
He just loves to boast about all the shots he could down
And the amount of beer that he can consume
Or the joy he got from smacking some guy in the face
Just 'cause he looked at him funny 'cross a room
And he can't help himself from explaining
All the things he does to girls during sex
Using obnoxious and offensive language
To describe what he did to his ex (Ugh, dude!)
If he'd shut up for just one minute he'd notice
That no-one else in the room is impressed
Yet he goes on regaling us with his stories
Of drunken antics and conquests in bed
And I'm so bored of straight boys
Who only wanna talk football, down alcohol, and hassle women
They could talk 'bout this same shit for days on end
(Yawn, boring, yeah whatever)
Excuse me while I go make out with my boyfriend
And if they're cute and wanted to join in, I guess they're welcome
(The more the merrier)
No, seriously, please get me out of this heinous conversation
(Women, football, and getting wasted)
Somebody didn't get enough attention as a kid, I suppose
Punching your fists in the air
Screaming at the television at the top of your lungs
(YEAH!)
I'm so bored of straight boys
Who only wanna talk football, down alcohol, and hassle women
It's so boring
Don't they know there's more to life
Than only talking goals and banging girls?
And what the hell is with all these frat initiations!?
Hazing, harassment, group humiliation
All these bizarre testosterone-fueled rituals and passage rites
Comparing dick sizes, lining them up side by side
Just hanging out with the guys
(YEAH!)
Somebody didn't get enough bromance in as a teen, I suppose
(Bromance!)
Finally getting your chance to enjoy some same-sex action
With all of your bros
(Who knows?)
All these hordes of straight boys
Who only wanna start fist-fights, down alcohol, and hassle women
It's so boring, when they all start brawling
I'll be sat here yawning, staring at my phone
No, I'm not calling all hetero boys out, obviously!
Some of my closest friends are straight (Ha!)
But we all know those bros who act like dickheads
While we roll our eyes and shake our heads again and again
♪
Look at all these Neanderthal men
Starting a fight for the sake of it
I'm trying not to feel too intimidated
Avoiding eye contact so I don't get hit (Pow!)
Somebody isn't getting enough action as a man and it shows
But that's no excuse for the way you keep
Grinding up against that girl
While her back's turned!
I'm so bored
I hate boys
I wanna go home
(Women, football, and getting wasted)
I'm so bored of straight boys who only wanna talk
(Fist fights, loose girls, and alcohol)
Macho dudes all acting like Neanderthals
(Women, football, and getting wasted)
I'm so bored of straight boys
Neanderthals
(Fist fights, loose girls, and alcohol)
Neanderthals
Grown-up children acting like Neanderthals
(YEAH!)
And I'm so bored of straight boys who think they own the world