Jeff found a genie in a bottle
Who said "I can give you anything you ask
You can have your wishes three, and a million more for free
It's unlimited just set me to the task"
Well Jeff thought a while, said "I want houses
I want boats, I want fancy modern art
I want tickets to the met, I want my own private jet
And a rocket into space, just for a start"
Well the genie waved her arms and made it happen
His every wish bolted from the blue
And folks all over town, grew enamored gathered round
To admire the man who's wishes had come true
They said "let's hear it for the man who has everything
By good fortune he was set so far apart
Yeah let's hear it for Jeff who's got everything
'Cause his wishes are only at the start"
Well Jeff heard their shouts and he grew worried
He said "everybody's getting in my way"
The genie smiled as before, "you've got a million wishes more
You can even give a bunch of them away"
Well Jeff got confused and sorta quiet
'Til he finally said "I have just one wish more
I am satisfied, so I wish that you would die
So you cannot grant wishes anymore"
Well the genie's eyes got big and sad and shiny
'Til she finally said "your wish is my command"
And with an effervescent sigh, she disappeared before his eyes
And no wishes were ever granted there again
So let's hear it for the man who has everything
By good fortune he was set so far apart
Let's hear it for Jeff who has everything
Every single fucking thing except a heart