It's been a long time since I last ran a mile I sprinted down the road When your parents got home And your father, he raced, tried to wrestle and break me But his lungs gave out when I went and dove down Into the creek, ruined my best pair of blue jeans And I'd probably been pissed if you hadn't kissed me So soft and so sweet, I was in such disbelief That I set a PR that'll never be beat Oh no Not even close But those were back in my glory days And I'd hate to admit it But I don't think I'd outpace your father Even if I wanted 'Cause the good Lord, she knows I'm in no shape to be in love There was a day when I'd carry the weight Of your love in my heart and I'd never get tired But my reps have gone down And my gut kind of sticks out Now I don't know my maximum love-lifting power So when you see me, don't ask me how I'm feeling As you can probably tell, I'm a little uneasy My pants are too tight and my belt is still trying To hold it all in, but I don't think it can anymore Cause those were back in our glory days And I'd think we'd admit it Neither of us is in shape for a lover Especially each other 'Cause the good Lord, she knows we're in no shape to be In love!