You know it does do something that's impressive
You're kidding, wow
Yup, and we're just getting started
Convincing this city to like this old bitty
Is the hard job I'm here to do
Now as we've established
You smile like a catfish
And your resting face looks like you're taking a poo
A strangler outpolled you
In case no one told you
That's what's called losing the race
So before the hard hitting
The first step's admitting
New York doesn't like your face
♪
First up Bitsy Brandenham
Twitter, TikTok, Instagram
This Big Apple thinks you're the pits
I don't need to
Bitsy, listen to this
They think you're sheisty
I'm thirty and feisty
That's just the Long Island Iced Tea
It's Bloody Mary mix
It's not okay, what the bloody mayor is trying to say
Is New York doesn't like your face
They spit you out because they've got New Yorker's taste
They look at you then smell a rat and they've had enough of those
No one can stand you
We've got to rebrand you
New haircut, heritage, pronouns, clothes
♪
Aesthetically, it's looking bleak
Haute couture should make you pop
Sit front row at fashion week
Then tweak the pictures with Photoshop
All we need is one good public stunt
With just the perfect words
Then we'll leave New Yorkers to accept the little polished turd
New York doesn't like your face
We've got to give them something better to embrace
Devise a plan to make them stand you
That's what it's all about
Bitsy, it's the only way to cultivate the clout
Haven't you ever wondered, dear
Why your staff all carry cans of mace?
New York doesn't like your face