This morning everything was going great
Woke up on top of it all
Honestly, I didn't see that I would fall
Flash-forward, and I really cannot overstate
How totally my ship went down
And now, my son might run me out of town
I'd love to change what I have done
But I don't have that kind of control
Failed Father Island, here I come
Where I'll eat only sand and poop in a hole
I thought I was a genius
But it turns out I was just a dumb dad
A prrrt on a scale of one to ten
Why didn't I forsee this?
I ruined this day, and now I'm sad
Please, can we do today again?
Hello, today is going great
Knock wood, I'm on top of it all
Honestly, I never expected this windfall
At home, my heart began to palpitate
Wasn't sure how this would go down
I fully thought my ship would run aground
My daughter's a bad-ass chess-machine
And I've never been more proud
I'm as giddy as a mom could be
But now I'm not afraid to say aloud
I guess I'm a genius
A mom who puts other moms to shame
A hell yeah on a scale of one to ten
Bow down before my queen-ness
I will check every mate in every game
Please, can we do today again?
I wanna unsee (the winner is here)
So much of today (for mom of the year)
I wanna have a chance to replay (I'll take my crown)
I wanna do over (and rose bouquet)
Don't make much ado over (this feels pretty great)
Don't wanna stew over (so why not just celebrate the)
Surprise that was today
So call me a genius
A mom (a dad)
On top of the game
A pfftt-whoo on a scale of one to ten
I want to decree this
A day to put in the hall of fame (shame)
Please, can we do today again?