When I was kid Never thought that I would grow up Never thought that God would show up Never thought that I was enough Yeah When I was a kid Always thought that dad was a genius Always thought that bro was the meanest Always thought that mom was the sweetest Some days it looks bad Some days it looks bright Some days I can't fight Some days it's just life I really wish that I could go back No regrets I'm really just sad Never said I love you like that Never really hugged you like that Always just sat in the back playing Nickelback IPod blasting Photograph It was like a minivan soundtrack on the way to outback After Sunday service Learned about Daniel and the furnace We made songs from the verses I don't have to tell you but I know what growing up in church is Do what your told and the devil won't get you I wish it was really that simple I'm not even trying to be sinful I'm just trying to show love But sometimes I mess up Like when I was a kid in Connecticut When I was kid When I was a When I was a kid When I was a When I was a kid I was trying to make space and escape from the place I lived And when I was a kid I would act out just to feel something embracing risk And when I was a kid If anybody talked shit first thought was to raise a fist Just blame anything when the anger hit And take it out on myself when I aimed and missed So I talked it out and the doctor prescribed He said take this it's an SSRI We'll check in a month if you're feeling alright Then asked if I'm focused I said well not quite Then added a dose in for ADHD Wasn't really sure if I could take these safely Every time I missed a pill it would make me shaky Wasn't really liking the way it changed me I would rather feel low than numb Once I got off all of that I really opened up Emotions suck, but only when you close em shut They're beautiful and really where the stories come I still, mess up as it all unfolds I weigh sin and I question what I've been told I don't know how far I'll make it down this road I'm just a kid trying to heal my soul