Please be seated
When I was boy I auditioned for a musical
It was a musical about cats
Was it cats?
It doesn't really matter, Charlotte
I'm trying to tell my story here
Please listen
Thank you
Anyway, on the day of the audition
I wore underwear, underwear with cats like in the musical
That's how I knew this role would be mine stat
What is stat?
Uh it means like soon
Yeah, like ASAP, kinda
Oh gotcha, gotcha
Are you guys done?
I'm kinda poring my heart out here
Anyway, I meowed
Oh I meowed like I'd studied cats at Yale
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow
And I shook my tush, like my tush had a bushy little tail
Do cats have bushy tails?
Yeah, don't be a badass
Squirrels? Rabbits? Yeah, rabbits (rabbits)
What's with all the side chats?
It's just that we can tell what happens in the end
Ha! That I doubt
You didn't get the role
It went to someone else who tried out
Irregardless
Not a word
Ever since that day I've had a hatred for musicals
So whoever caused this curse
You know it was Frankini
Yeah, you said on the news
Yeah pay attention
Oh, yeah
So Frankini
Oh God, I smell a high note
Plug your ears!
Will pay