(Once upon a time
When Neil was five years old
His sister came home
With braces on her teeth
Neil thought the braces were very cool
And he couldn't wait until the
Braces came off to see how beautiful
His sister's teeth looked
From that day on Neil knew
He wanted to be an orthodontist
The kind of doctor that puts braces on teeth
But some of the people in his life
Didn't quite understand
For example, when Neil was seven years old
His Aunt Helen said, "So, Neil, I hear
You want to be a dentist. How exciting!
You'll have to go to college and then
To dental school to learn
How to clean teeth and fill cavities
It'll be a lot of work but it'll be worth it
And Neil thought to himself
A dentist is a good thing to be
And cleaning teeth sounds like fun
But being a dentist is not right
For me. This is what I want to become...)
I want to be an orthodontist
Not a dentist
And I want to straighten people's teeth!
A healthy smile is a pretty smile
A good strong bite is essential
With spacers and braces
And retainer's, too
The whole thing is really elemental
And I want to be an orthodontist!
(And when Neil was ten years old
His science teacher said, "So, Neil, I hear
You want to be a scientist
How exciting for you!
You'll have to study very hard, you know
And go to college and learn
Scientific method and the Periodic Table
Of the Elements. It'll be a lot of work
But it'll be worth it." And Neil thought to himself
A scientist is a good thing to be
Doing experiments sounds like fun
But being a scientist is not right
For me. This is what I want to become...)
I want to be an orthodontist
Not a scientist
And I want to straighten people's teeth!
A healthy smile is a pretty smile
A good strong bite is essential
With spacers and braces
And retainer's too
The whole thing is really elemental
And I want to be an orthodontist!
(When Neil was fifteen
His best friend said "So, Neil, I hear
You want to be a pianist
Awesome, man. You know you
Have to practice the piano every day
For like, forever. That's a lot of work
But it'll be worth it for sure."
Neil thought to himself
A pianist is a good thing to be
And playing piano sounds like fun
But being a pianist is not right
For me. This is what I want to become...)
I want to be an orthodontist
Not a pianist
And I want to straighten people's teeth!
A healthy smile is a pretty smile
A good strong bite is essential
With spacers and braces
And retainer's, too
The whole thing is really elemental
And I want to be an orthodontist!
(Eventually, the people in Neil's life
Understood what he really wanted to become
And even though Neil thinks good dental
Hygiene is important, and even though
He thinks scientific experiments are neat
And even though he's been known to
Tinkle the ivories on occasion
Neil did become an orthodontist
In fact, he's our orthodontist
And now he sings:)
Now, I'm a professional orthodontist
And now, I really straighten people's teeth!
(Yes, I do.)
A healthy smile is a pretty smile
A good strong bite is essential
With spacers and braces
And retainer's, too
The whole thing is really elemental
And I'm so happy I'm an orthodontist!