I often reminisce and wonder where the time has gone
I'm suffering in silence but somehow remaining strong
I'm smoking weed to get me higher than I'm Cheech and Chong
To balance out the lows but happiness ain't lasting long
My head is in the clouds no sunny days it's always raining
I need a new solution certainly and stop complaining
'Cause it is doing no one justice like the crooked system
I'm here to speak the truth and always spew some words of wisdom
These people say I'm doing great but I do not believe it
'Cause I am not half of the person that I was conceiving
I guess it's all perception truly how you view the world
I feel the pressure under tension like I'm doing curls
I'm stressing over being stressed it's such a mental burden
And my endeavours lead me here but I do not deserve it
At least that's what I tell myself yeah I know it's strange
I got some scars, I got some souvenirs from all the pain
I wanna do better but I still do hate myself
Tortured by my demons I've been walking through this hell
I need help
Looking in the mirror like who the hell am I though?
I need help
Way too stubborn to ask
Think I'm about to relapse, ooh-oooh
I'm stuck procrastinating questioning if I will make it
My sweaty palms, elusive thoughts has got me kinda anxious
The only time I'm truly satisfied is when I'm faded
The voices up inside my head is quite a conversation
I'm about to try some hypnotherapy and pray it works
Cause all the self help books and talk has actually made it worse
Domestic violence growing up can leave a person hurt
No father figure in the picture now I'm on the verge
It's inconceivable the damage that is bleeding through
I was a shit disturber plenty days within my youth
I'm not exaggerating from the drugs I should of died
But God had better plans making sure I do survive
Don't wanna compromise maybe that's why I am single
I had to rid of people that would love to just belittle
I'll turn the coldest like I'm Wim Hof on an expedition
I trust the process but there's many days I feel like quitting
I wanna do better but I still do hate myself
Tortured by my demons I've been walking through this hell
I need help
Looking in the mirror like who the hell am I though?
I need help
Way too stubborn to ask
Think I'm about to relapse, ooh-oooh
They don't understand no
I stay to myself and I lay low
Misery sure loves company
And my mind can't lie been killing me
I'm falling
Still falling
I don't know how I stay so strong
Keep calling
I'm calling
But ain't nobody pick up the phone
I wanna do better but I still do hate myself
Tortured by my demons I've been walking through this hell
I need help
Looking in the mirror like who the hell am I though?
I need help
Way too stubborn to ask
Think I'm about to relapse, ooh-oooh
Ooooohhh!
Ooooohhh!
They don't know
Ooooohhh!
Ooooohhh!
They don't know
Yeah