No fireworks No kids get hurt No whining cats and dogs No fire runs No worried mums No stupid fisticuffs No filth and trash No cars that crash No air and noise pollution No house in flames No money waste No new year's resolutions Let's have a five-course meal instead And then collapse into bed Let's have a bottle of champagne Gingerbread and candy cane Let's have our friends around When there are stars and waves to count Let's make it history Just like James and Miss Sophie Let's have a good night's rest And then coffee and scrambled eggs Let's hope this year's long gone In memory of things to come