Beware the Bleu Cheese of Redmond
And the honey-mustard of gloom
Be careful how you stick your fork into
The Notorious Salad of Doom
An army of croutons comes crunching
While sinister spinach doth creep
Invading the heart of your luncheon
And stirring your belly from sleep
Tempting and colorful veggies
Seek only to draw you in
And learning your fate, you'll find it's too late
As dressing drips from your chin!
Iceberg lettuce
Will come to chill your soul
Don't say we didn't warn you
As you blindly fill up your bowl!
Oh, HEADS OF LETTUCE WILL ROLL! Ho!
Dress it in flowers and clover,
But it consumes you still!
In leather and lace,
Past the bounds of good taste,
This salad is dressed to kill!
The popping of cherry tomatoes
Resounds throughout the land!
Innocence lost when the salad was tossed,
But Dave was just feeding the band!!
Iceberg lettuce
Will come to chill your soul
Don't say we didn't warn you
As you blithely fill up your bowl, oh,
Heads of lettuce will roll!
Oh, Health nuts, seek other nutrition!
Vegans, best run from the room!
Be careful how you stick your fork into
The Notorious Salad of Doom
Woe to the grazers of green things,
Whose stomachs will growl all too soon!
We'll lose all we love in the tastiness of
The Notorious Salad of Doom
Credits
From Mischief, released 16 July 2010
Guitars, vocals: S. J. Tucker
Cello: Betsy Tinney
Army of Croutons: Michelle Dockrey, Torrey Stenmark, David Tinney, James Tinney, S. J. Tucker, Kevin Wiley
Damsels of Doom: Susan Lanphere, Betsy Tinney, Katie Tinney
Doom descant: Michelle Dockrey
Tracked and mixed by Tony Fabris, Monkey Brains Studios, Seattle