Welcome to my breakfast table this is what you'll find A different kind of breakfast food that leaves the real ones far behind What's the fucking deal, all these brand names all around They raise the prices, raise my rent, but do not make a sound Now i'm getting older these changes in my life It's the quaker man he's the one i give my hand He's the one who picks my wife for me I think that he is god You know it's true He's the one who picks my wife for me Jesus christ, holy shit, now what's the fucking deal? How the hell should i go on if there's no more sex appeal I give you flakes I give you puffs of corn right off the shelf I know you never thought of that I know you never thought of it Stand in line for oats today.