What in the hell is wrong with people The deranged should be caged What is wrong with people It must be them can't you see That it couldn't be me Where their road ends That's where my day begins There's a giant hole in my heart But all I have to do is fill it up with alcohol It closes all the holes It hides all my boredom and subdues my restlessness It enhances my personality But makes me order three orders of buffalo wings When I would normally have just one It forces me to bob my head to songs that I really, really hate And it makes me want to strike someone at the bar Who orders two waters with lemon And once again I find myself bobbing my head to a mediocre song When I notice two marginally attractive girls parking it next to me at the bar Sipping spring water with a twist of lemon What in the hell is wrong with people The deranged should be caged What is wrong with people It must be them can't you see That it couldn't be me Where their road ends That's where my day begins And I'm ready to puke when a small child sits next to me at the bar But that's OK because to me other people's kids are fine So it's no surprise that it's parents are ordering water with lemon And a root beer for the child Do you ever find yourself striving for perfection With a virtually worthless attempt at it And is that why I find myself eaves dropping constantly Sports bars are the best places to meet people you hate Not that I've actually met anyone It's just a matter of listening to their conversations and assuming that you hate them When of coarse that probably isn't true Because I can get along with anyone if I absolutely have to What in the hell is wrong with people The deranged should be caged What is wrong with people It must be them can't you see That it couldn't be me Where their road ends That's where my day begins Oh, here we go A couple a few tables down just ordered lunch The guy wearing a basketball tank top is having a veggie burger with fruit instead of fries And his husky date is just having a salad it must be their first date And what goes better with rabbit food than ice water with a slice of lemon Sometimes I think if I could be anyone in the whole world I would be a magician No, than I would hate myself more than I already do But at least then I could make all of these people in the bar be more like me Or even make them befriend me but then again I could become one of them And only then would I understand the befits Of putting a slice of lemon in ordinary drinking water What in the hell is wrong with people The deranged should be caged What is wrong with people It must be them can't you see That it couldn't be me Where their road ends That's where my day begins