Dear diary this is how I'm feeling
Never thought I'd wake up slowly disappearing
Lonely and in fear time is only interfering
Gotta go show me perseverance
This is how, this is how I'm feeling
How I'm feeling
Bow my head to God and call out for my healing
Never knew these scars would turn into my ceiling
Uh huh
Yeah yeah
This is the outro to my life bro
I play the beat with my eyes closed
I paint a picture Picasso
I tell my story in tight flows
I pour the pain on the mic though
The things that I've seen make you psycho
Know that my heart wasn't ice cold
Till I buried it in the south pole
I only got love for my family baby
Moved out the house I was barley a baby
Stepped up to the plate that's the man in me baby
She was too sick and my heart couldn't take it
School from home just to be there more
That's when I started to write these songs
I've been on my own for God knows how long
This here is over a decade strong
My grandma dealing with kidney failure man
You don't even know the half of it
Waking up out of my sleep to screams
I'm running and calling the ambulance
My grandfather catching the bus and shit
He just tryna clear his mind and shit
We know who cared and who really was there
You wasn't even around and shit
Dear diary this is how I'm feeling
Never thought I'd wake up slowly disappearing
Lonely and in fear time is only interfering
Gotta go show me perseverance
This is how, this is how I'm feeling
How I'm feeling
Bow my head to God and call out for my healing
Never knew these scars would turn into my ceiling
Uh huh
Yeah Yeah
The older I get the more colder I get
Most of them people they lost my respect
When I hit the streets I was only a teen
Hanging round lebos way older than me
Dibble and dabble in all the above
Fly on the wall when I hang with the thugs
I couldn't care even if they sold drugs
They took me in and they showed me some love
I seen the gat go off when my dog go off
In the paddy wagon with the doors all locked
Most of my dawgs ain't here no more
Either die go jail or you just grow up
I seen how money attracts bitches
I seen the way they be moving malicious
Losing themselves but they gaining attention
I treat em like dogs I can't treat em like women
To my family I'm the golden one
To my brothers I'm the chosen one
To these hoes I'm the coldest one
Who do it like me I'm the only one
I miss my cousins I grew up with
You can tell that it weighs on me heavily
This music to me is my therapy
I'm just the king of the melodies
Dear diary this is how I'm feeling
Never thought I'd wake up slowly disappearing
Lonely and in fear time is only interfering
Gotta go show me perseverance
This is how, this is how I'm feeling
How I'm feeling
Bow my head to God and call out for my healing
Never knew these scars would turn into my ceiling
Uh huh
Yeah yeah