It's a hundred pounds an hour
Or two hundred for the day
I'll take cash or credit card
I don't mind how you pay
It's a funny kind of business
When you're in demand
A social mantelpiece-man
Would never understand
Started back in oh-six
When I was down and out
Not a conjure up together
Left in no doubt
I looked at the computer
And I had to make the choice
One was cleaning toilets
And the other needed boys
Now I'm a freak
I get my money through love
And I'm a freak
But it hurts me so much
I'm living by the hour
Sometimes by the day
Always gets me outta bed
And never goes away
Here's another pensioner
Who's hornier than most
Got a little cottage
Just on the coast
But we've gotta be so quick
Before her husband gets home
He might be old and grey
But he's as hard as a stone
The act of love was simple
But the end felt like death
Then she started talkin'
I could smell her breath
Oh my stomach went all queasy
And I started to balk
I took my ready payments
And I walked out the door
Cus I'm a freak
I get my money through love
And I'm a freak
But it hurts me so much
I'm living by the hour
Sometimes by the day
Always gets me outta bed
And never goes away
All my friends laugh
And they talk behind my back
I'm thinking I'm on top
But inside my soul just rots
I'll pack it in some day
Save some money and move away
Cus life as a gigolo
It's all gonna have to go
I'm gonna have to go
Spinning down my spine
It gives me the creeps
Pay me now, not later
Cus I've gotta leave
Got a forty year old woman
Who's six foot four
All the kids go crazy
When they see me at the door
It all gets sorted out
And gives them a clout
Strips off in the bedroom
Shows me what it's about
I try and try all day
Tryin' all day long
I try and try again
Until the money's all gone
Cus I'm a freak
I get my money through love
And I'm a freak
But it hurts me so much
I'm living by the hour
Sometimes by the day
Always gets me outta bed
And never goes away