As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
Well I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be
So I called my wife and I said to her will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be?
She said you're drunk
You're drunk you silly old fool
So drunk you cannot see
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me
It's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
A saddle on a sow sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be
Well I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
So I called my wife and I said to her will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be?
She said you're drunk you're drunk you silly old fool so drunk you cannot see
That's a lovely blanket that me mother sent to me
Well it's many a day
I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be
Well I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be
So I called my wife and I said to her will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be?
She said you're drunk you're drunk you silly old fool so still you cannot see
That's a lovely whistle that me mother sent to me
Well it's many a day
I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a whistle sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be
WelI I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
So I called my wife and I said to her will you kindly tell to me
Who owns those boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
She said you're drunk you're drunk you silly old fool so still you cannot see
They're two lovely
Geranium pots me mother sent to me
It's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But laces in Geranium pots
I never saw before
Well as I went home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be
So I called my wife and I said to her will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head with you in the bed where my old head should be?
She said you're drunk you're drunk you silly old fool so still you cannot see
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me
It's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before