Well, once I was persuaded to open up my head
I told them how it was and went and got it wrong instead
I said, would you believe me if you only knew
I'd been stealing everything, this conversation's through
And the boy cried, hang him at three
I saw him on the front page, laughing at me
He worked in a fairground in a tall hat
He's a liar, he's a liar, a good one at that
Say what you wanna, say what you will
Write your number on my telephone bill
Walk like a monkey, kick like a mule
I could be a beggar, but I'd rather be just as cruel
♪
So, I told them all I could about what could they expect
But I lost my sense of smell and I gained my self-respect
They told me I was curious, I told them they were slow
And they asked me where I get this stuff, I told them I don't know
And the boy cried whopie-didi
There is a woman with a mustache who won't let me be
She was born on a Monday, she's a hundred and four
She's a liar, she's a liar, a little bit more
Say what you wanna, say what you will
Writes her number on my telephone bill
Walk like a monkey, kick like a mule
I could be a beggar, but I'd rather be just as cruel
♪
And the boy cried, hang him at three
Saw him on the front page, laughing at me
He worked in a fairground in a tall hat
He's a liar, he's a liar, a good one at that
Say what you wanna, say what you will
Writes her number on my telephone bill
Walk like a monkey, kick like a mule
I could be a beggar, but I'd rather be just as cruel