The man is always smiling As he leans against his Cadillac And offers you your money back If you can beat his price. And the woman so beguiling As she rubs against your Chevrolet And offers you some repartee And Motor Trend advice. And the heads are always spinning As the preacher holds the Pearlie Gate For those who feeds the Sunday plate With hopes to raise the dead. And the dogs are always grinning As fleas and ticks destroy their coats While cowboys feed them milk bone floats And pat them on the head. And the lawns are always happy And the kids are all well fed And the neighbors are as friendly as can be. And the box of fettucine Spreads the word from out the parking lots The nutriments in every box Are just what they deserve. And the girls in string bikinis Chase a never ending puberty While lifeguards sitting hubrisly Blow whistles at their curves. And the kids are all in college And the lawns are all well groomed And the clothes are all as bright as white can be. And all the pretty people In their latex gloves Living fortified and sugar free Riding off together In billboard love That's the only kind of love for me. And the woman seems so daring As she sinfully enjoys a smoke And tells another risqué joke While other girls lament. And the man is oh so caring As he sells you everything he can And offers an installment plan For just a small percent. And the kids are all good Christians And the lawns are all but used And the neighbors have their coffee caffeine free. And all the pretty people In their latex gloves Smoking Tipparillos by the sea Riding off together In billboard love That's the only kind of love for me. Paper smooth complexion Teeth as white as tile Malibu perfection Pepsidented smile Oversexed and oversized Popular and pasteurized. And all the pretty people In their latex gloves Waiting for the weekend to be free Living life forever In billboard love That's the only kind of love for me.