Tulane and Johnny opened a novelty shop Back under the counter was the cream of the crop Everything was clickin' and the business was good One day, lo and behold an officer stood Johnny jumped the counter but he stumbled and fell Tulane made it over, Johnny belted a yell Well get on Tulane, he can't catch up with you Go Tulane, he ain't man enough for you Go Tulane, use all the speed you gotta Go Tulane, you know you need allot to Go Tulane, he's laggin behind Go get on Tulane Go by your father's house and tell him business is slow And see if he will loan us somethin', soon as you hit the door Put the cat out in the hall and rumple up the room Go by Doctor Kellers, tell him you swallowed some perfume Tell him we need him quick 'cause he may have to testify That you been sick all day and that's a perfect alibi Well get on Tulane, he can't catch up with you Go Tulane, he ain't man enough for you Go Tulane, use all the speed you gotta Go Tulane, you know you need allot to Go Tulane, he's laggin behind Go get on Tulane Go let Danny drive in case you run into the Man Back by the shop and get the stuff and hide it in the van Go back by your Father's, get the money for the bail And bring it down and bail me out of this rotten, funky jail We gotta get a lawyer in the click with politics Somebody who can win the thing, or get the thing fixed Well get on Tulane, he can't catch up with you Go Tulane, he ain't man enough for you Go Tulane, use all the speed you gotta Go Tulane, you know you need allot to Go Tulane, he's laggin behind Go get on Tulane