Say, did you ever Hear the saxophone Let out an awful moan Let out an awful groan? It makes you feel so nervous Yet it's great It's the saxophone a-callin' To his mate That sweet coquette The clarinet Now listen for a minute And the birth of jazz you'll hear And where there is a little jazz You'll always find me near For I'm a jazz vampire Shake a foot With me and dance, dance Dancing is my specialty Wise men keep out o' my way They know I'll lead 'em astray They fall the minute I sway I insist You can't resist a Jazz vampire Take a tip, take a tip, take a tip from me For I am all the evil music has Went down to the river, stood on the bank Shook my shoulders and the boats all sank For I'm the meanest kind of jazz vampire I'm the wicked vampire of the jazz Get up in the morning and I make the coffee whole Ham and eggs turn over, put the crullers in a hole Get upon a trolley car, the car begins to sway Sit upon a half a dozen laps to start the day I walk into the office and I greet the starter there Six or seven elevators go up in the air Sit down at my Remington and syncopate the keys The fellow by the water stand gets water on the knees The boss dictates a letter: "Dear sir, I'd like to state—" The man who gets the letter has to stop and hesitate And when the day is over and the sun sets in the west Say I'm the only little bird who doesn't go to rest For I'm a jazz vampire Take a tip, take a tip, take a tip from me For I am all the evil music has I stood by the ocean, no one around Shook my shoulders and the sun went down For I'm the meanest kind of jazz vampire I'm the wicked vampire of the jazz