I start with the title and work this in reverse
For my finale it's first to be rehearsed
I may be drowning but it's worse to never thirst
So who's been counting this precursor to my verse?
When I was down in the basement sound had found placement
I reworked my ideas to allow profound changes
And faced with the fact that my place was never rap
I erased my troubled past and I scrounged a down payment
Standing here today, I admit it always bothered me
But I'm still convinced that I owe no one an apology
So why's the thought of me actually getting famous
Such a stretch that I can best describe this mess as so outrageous
I can face this harsh reality taking everything out of me
I'm bound to be a casualty playing with this mentality
Surrounding me and choking me, I view the world so openly
That nothing in my vision can restrict this sense of balancing
At a time when all I had was only temporary
Nothing ever scared me like my name was in a cemetery
Dead and buried, there was nothing on my epitaph
Upset the grass was fresh, I guess the dream meant I was next to crash
Maybe if I figured out just what the hell is wrong with me
I'd probably be able to make peace with what has bothered me
Dishonesty is constantly a path that I've avoided
It's starting to make sense to not ignore what I'm annoyed with
I've been short handed, short changed
Positions had their points made
In no frame to change paths, I've hardened to avoid pain
It appears to me to be obscene when silent dreams combine with these
Intrepid lessons messing my obsessions with a violent scream
I try to lie to people like myself and say its music
But its just my voice recorded in a room with bad acoustics
I'd like to play guitar, piano, cello and a trumpet
And dub it all together on a predetermined budget
But I'm lazy, these days seem shorter than before
I live with my confessions thrown about across the floor
I know that there's more, something to live for
I need to find the key to see behind these closed doors
Are there no interesting people left on this earth?
Anyone that could possibly be worth
More than a five minute flurry of colloquial hooks and jabs
I sure as hell wont be looking back when I finally ascend
So you can kiss your misguided dreams goodbye when I leave you in the end
Associate with this, a poem to rape the bliss
A literal glimpse into the inner workings of an idiom architect
Consider it hard to get this balanced without any practice
This is the real life equivalent of a head on collision with
A theory nearing hearings, steering fear into a syllabus
I'm building this abridged position around the avarice
The talentless, spread among the pacifists and catalysts
Impressions change with impending need
During one occasion, I cannot forgive that I believed
That a problem shared is a problem halved
If two logs were spared, we could start a raft
But it takes much more to cross a river so vast
So I burned both logs with the bridge to my past
You feel so wretched when your soul gets hurt
And I've been trying to connect but there is no network
The winter's cold and I have no sweatshirt
And I've been wanting to connect but there is no network
I look around but there is no net worth
And I've been trying to connect but there is no network
The future's bright if you just leave the rest first
And I've been trying to connect but there is no network