A flat tyre, a dead mobile phone, I was so very far away from home
I told myself it would be all right
I took a walk down a secluded road
Eventually I found a pub and the relief was palpable- I'm all right
The bar fell silent when I walked in I said:
"A glass of tonic please, and could you top it up with gin?"
The barman didn't smile he just stared for a while
I saw how dirty his hands were when he squeezed in my lime
All right
I sat perched on an uneven stool
Trying nervously to keep my cool
As I was searching for my light, I--
Well I was struck by an advertisment
Pinned up by the local constituent
I was realised this place was all right
My heart beat heavy as I took in my surroundings
I've never seen so many little taxidermal owls
Well there was pro-thought Suns
And there are Union Jack bunting
And the papers on the bar were only useful for one thing
They were all right
All right
I set off 'cause I was terrified
But as soon as I had gone outside I sensed that something wasn't right
I felt watched; I sensed eyes on me
I saw a Cleggster behind a tree and started running for my life
Well I tripped on something and I fell to the ground and before I could get up I realised I was surrounded
I tried to catch my breath but I was too dumbfounded by the gang of former pri's with their engines growling
All right
Hey!
I woke up shackled to an antique chair
There was a vicar and a policeman and a dog sat there
They said:
"The bureaucrat opposal say we've gotta release you, just don't come here again you little Guardianista"
All right
All right
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.