Your mouth as necessary on mine as rain on the desert
(I remember thirst)
I remember unloading guns beneath a complex heaven
(They cut into my dreams)
I remember how bitterness tasted
(It was sometimes sweet)
Now in the black black behind your sleep
I am trying to hold your oceans.
I am struggling to sparkle in your sky.
I will collect your snowfalls in my arms
And watch them unfold.
In the North, you ache with loss
And wish for a sick day
To curl yourself away and cry.
The warmth of your voice
Now burnt with loss
And everyone knows.
Everyone knows you are far too far too transparent
To hide away such a wanting.
Now whom is needed
And whom is needful?
You are older than I
But hand yourself over
A bird nestling into my hand.
"I am broken, I am broken"
You say as I stroke you to sleep.
Making tea of desperation
I know you are sterling.
No, I won't tell them.
No, I won't share you.
I am killing myself trying not to care.
I know you're too fine for this.
They've raised your hopes,
Now they've come to dash them.
Let me throw you deep into the stars
So you can see your heaven
And speak to your dead.
Lay on me the hands that never kill.
Stain my skin with breath
Laced in coolth and stun.
Trace my form in the dark until it glows.
You are younger than your years
And I am older than mine.
Some midnight I will meet you in the midst
And cross your palm with my mouth.
Come here little bird,
Let me lick your feathers back.
Come here to your complicated cat.
I have done my best to steer you away
Now I swim in blame and sleep in fear.
When we go public, my china bird,
I'll let you tell the story.
When you hurt me,
I won't let it show.